Pants 0. Shit 1.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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