Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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