Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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