I puked a lego.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
