I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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