I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
