the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
