I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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