dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You pole danced in your parka.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
