Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
