we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
