i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
