We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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