dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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