End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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