you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
