ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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