You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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