I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is my gift to your gina
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
