too bad you live with your parents still
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He felt like a one man threesome
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
