We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
