If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
