if you like me you must not know who I am
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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