Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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