i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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