i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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