she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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