Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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