I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We need a shit load of segways right now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
