last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
