we're blogging at a bar
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
