I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
