guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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