I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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