Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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