her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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