tell your sister to shave her snatch
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
