Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Fuck appropriateness.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
