I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
