Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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