YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
