I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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