Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
