Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
