I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Randomize
