Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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