I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
