It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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