i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
