take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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